Bed-wetting in children

What you can do

Do not worry about bed-wetting if your child is 6 years old or under – just be patient.

Help your child not to feel bad about bed-wetting. Smelly bedrooms and lots of sheets to change and wash are annoying, but try to keep a calm, matter-of-fact attitude and not to fuss about it. It is important not to make your child feel guilty about something he or she can not control. Bed-wetting is a great worry to children – they often feel that they are being babyish or dirty. To punish a child for a wet bed will not help and is not fair.

Explain bed-wetting to your child. Explain how common it is, and that there will certainly be other children of the same age in his or her class with the same problem. Explain that he or she will grow out of it in time, and that you are finding out ways to make this happen faster. (In fact, it is not strictly true that all children grow out of it, but most do.) If you used to bed-wet, tell your child about it.

Deal with practical problems. Think up ways of dealing with practical problems. Obtain waterproof mattress covers, for example (see useful contacts)

Children who bed-wet are fearful of sleeping at other children’s houses. To deal with this difficulty, buy your child some pyjamas and a washable (polyester) sleeping bag for sleepovers. Ideally, look for a child-sized bag (easier to wash) with a waterproof exterior. Tell your child to put his or her day clothes close by at night then, in the morning, it is simple to kick off the wet pyjama bottoms into the damp sleeping bag, quickly get dressed without anyone noticing the problem, and roll up the sleeping bag with the pyjamas inside ready for washing at home.

Consider using absorbent pads or underpants (see useful contacts). They are designed to be worn under baggy pyjamas or a nightdress, and do not look like nappies (diapers). They obviously will not solve the problem, but are useful for holidays or if you are becoming very stressed by wet beds. Disposable types are available from pharmacies. ERIC (see useful contacts) sells washable absorbent briefs for boys and girls that look like ordinary undergarments.

Make access to the lavatory easy. Make it easy for your child to get to the to the lavatory. Pyjama bottoms should be easy to get off. Provide a plug-in night-light to guide your child to the bedroom door. Leave a landing light on – your child may be afraid of the dark. Provide a potty in the bedroom if the bathroom is far away. And remember, sleeping in a top bunk makes getting to the lavatory difficult.

 ‘Lifting’ your child to the lavatory, and encouraging him or her to pass some urine, before you go to bed (for instance, at about 11 o’clock) will not prevent a wet bed. However, it will slightly reduce the amount of urine that is released.

Encourage your child to drink plenty during the day – at least six drinks. This helps train the bladder to hold larger quantities, and will prevent excessive drinking in the evening. Check that the school provides access to drinks during the day.

Do not restrict drinks in the evening – this does not help. If your child seems to be drinking a lot in the evening, it may be because he or she is not drinking enough in the day, so the best approach is to encourage daytime drinking. It makes sense to restrict cola drinks after midday, because they contain caffeine which can make bladder control more difficult.

Help your child to train his or her bladder. Explain that the bladder is like a balloon, and needs to be stretched. This will help to make it strong, so that urine is easier to control. Once a day (twice a day at weekends), encourage him or her to drink a lot, and then hang on until bursting and then a few minutes more if possible. This will only work if your child understands what he or she is trying to do, and if you have an encouraging and slightly laid back attitude. Do not get angry if your child finds hanging on difficult.

Try a ‘star chart’ if your child is 9 years or older. You will need some stick-on stars, and a calendar that has a large space for each day. If you do not have a suitable calendar, make a chart, or obtain one from ERIC (see useful contacts). Each morning, your child sticks a star on the calendar as a reward if a specific behaviour has been achieved (such as getting out of bed when he/she wakes up).

Think of the star chart as a way or rewarding successes (even if they are very few), rather than a record of failures. So do not make any fuss about the mornings when a star cannot be given, but praise your child on a successful morning. If after a few weeks there are no dry nights, stop using the chart - if you continue, your child may start to feel a failure. Simply tell him or her that you will start the chart again in a few months time.

Discuss the problem with your doctor. You should see your doctor if:

• the problem is really getting to you, and you are starting to feel angry with your child
• your child seems upset about the bed-wetting or about other problems, such as school
• your child is aged 7 or over – at this age a bed-wetting alarm may be helpful
• your child also wets during the day, or seems to have a feeble urine stream
• your child has any other health problems, or is not growing as quickly as other children.

• Bed-wetting in children - main page
• What is normal?
• Causes of bed-wetting
• What you can do
• What your doctor can do
• useful contacts